Amazing Grace

Regrets are pointless.  My son was chatting to me this week about the injuries I caused to myself while drunk.  I said to him that I wish I could change the past, but I can’t.  He replied “no, but you have changed our future”.  Words cannot express how much this comment from him means to me.  The hurt and anguish they have gone through and yet he, and my other children, still believe in me.  I am truly blessed –  ‘Amazing Grace….. I was once lost, but now am found’…..

My heart and soul are full of gratitude to be living in sobriety; to everyone who helped me turn from a life of destruction to fight against the ills I was suffering.  The continued battle with depression and anxiety.  However, I tell myself DAILY that there is nothing that life can throw at me that will be helped by alcohol.  The same can be said to every single person living with addiction – it will take you to oblivion but whatever you, we, are hiding from will remain regardless.

Many people will experience times when with a heavy heart they feel the helplessness and frustration of being the parent of a child who is struggling emotionally.  You can only feel as happy as your unhappiest child.  But remember, as a reliable, dependable, supportive, but most importantly SOBER parent you are THERE for your child.

I live in hope that I continue to avoid jumping, again, onto that out of control express train of doom and destruction.

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.


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