I’m just an ordinary, everyday, middle aged mum, wife, etc etc, who over half a decade ago became overwhelmed by life, depression and anxiety; whereby I gradually became dependent of alcohol to get me through the day. First it was just the reward of a glass of wine at bath time. Over a relatively short period of time of a couple of years, this slowly increased. When I gave up time to become a full time stay at home mum it really escalated out of control. “Wine o’clock” crept earlier and earlier into each day.
Looking back I was mentally and emotionally a complete wreck, and had been for years, holding things together by the thinnest of threads.
My darkest days were spent unable to drag myself out of bed. Wishing I was dead and believing my family would be better off without me.
There were times when I would contemplate driving into a wall, or disappearing without a trace. I would go to bed at night praying that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning.
Drinking became a way of trying to seek oblivion from my obligations, and the ever increasing sense of drowning despair and suffocating panic………..
