Now I no longer drink I get an immense sense of pleasure knowing that I am always reliable and responsible. It’s not just being those things but knowing that my nearest and dearest know I am too and can be counted on.
In order to be reliable and responsible I no longer attempt to live like superwoman and have had to learn how to say “No”, especially when I can’t or don’t want to do something. Saying “No” to people is not an easy thing to do, particularly when I have always been a ‘people pleaser’ and always found myself say “Yes” without a moments hesitation. In the past this was often to my own detriment as I would end up feeling totally frazzled and out of control, thinking that the only thing I was in control of was my drinking. (Control – that’s another topic for another day I think!). Obviously, when my drinking increased the ‘people pleasing’ was more about pleasing the drink demon, leading to my reliability and responsible attitude taking a tumble.
Here are some of the ways I like to say “No” (politely!) –
• At this moment in time I’m unable to but if anything changes I’ll let you know
• No, I can’t do that
• I’d prefer not to
• Thank you for asking me but I can’t at the moment
• I’d love to but I don’t have the time.
The ability to say “No” helps create a positive response to ourselves, leading to our feelings of being reliable and responsible. Through my recovery I have learnt that I am personally in charge of all responses to all experiences today. I can feel however I choose every minute of the day.