WASTED – “thrown away because it is not wanted”.
Waking up this morning to such a beautiful day has made me reflect on the amount of time I have ‘wasted’ on hangovers. Days thrown away because I’ve been too rough to get out of bed, too embarrassed to face anyone, too remorseful about my previous evenings behaviour, too paranoid and the guilt. In fact I can’t think of any positives. Actually, yes I can – that because of those experiences today I wake up accepting of who I am, thankful of how different I am from 3 years ago. The very fact that I no longer blot out pain or joy with alcohol and I have trust in myself and have regained my self-respect in itself is a positive every single day.
My wine voice, (Willow I call it), with its seductive whispering voice, gently trying to encourage me to have a drink, that I deserve a drink, especially as everyone else it, no longer troubles me. Occasionally, she restarts her seductive whispering but I remind myself of the BAD drinking days, and put her back in her bottle, she’s a nasty powerful genie.
Through the pain I have learnt to appreciate the good. I want to experience every second of every day good and bad, I have no intention of throwing it away ever again. My goodness I done enough of that in the past!
Have a fabulous day everyone.