I used alcohol to mask my depression and self-medicate; I drank to deal with feelings of stress and anxiety. Alcohol had the ability, in the very short term, to numb these feelings. Looking back I realise that it was that moment when I took that sip of wine, when feeling stressed and thinking to myself “that’s better” which was the beginning of the end – here was where I started the slide down that slippery slope, insanely believing alcohol was the solution. That moment when having arrived home from work, grumpy children who all needed to be fed and transported to various different places almost every single evening of the week to their ‘after school activities’.
All I’d think about was when could I have a drink, I wanted was total oblivion from the feeling that I had lost control of my life and was drowning! I turned into a brilliant actress portraying life as wonderful, and playing the part of super mum; while in secret behind closed doors I was become super drunk mum. TOTAL AND UTTER MADNESS!